Wow. Well, that was an intense few weeks, wasn't it? Highly charged, highly emotional, highly transformative. Overnight realizations, mind-body understandings, mega downloads of higher levels of awareness, consciousness, and self-love. And yes, maybe even lots of crying. Maybe even lots of comfort food like cookies, emergency chocolate, and polishing off a glass of wine. Maybe even profound shifts in relationships within your family structures. Right now, it’s potent Cancer energy, the emotional Water sign that governs this Full Moon, which falls on Christmas Day. On top of that, we are graced with Winter Solstice, the time of year which invites us to dive deep into the space out our Selves.
The Full Moon is a time of reflection, just as the Moon reflects on the waters of the Earth, shining light on the darkness. We think the sun creates light but it’s really the moon that illuminates the way in the darkest of moments. The moon is related to the feminine energy, the Yin, the aspect of the macrocosms and microcosms which allow us to turn inward, to look inside, to look into our hearts, to be meditative. It’s about illuminating the beauty and majesty within us through quiet introspection. If we don't become quiet, we cant hear and feel the subtle beauty around us.
At the end of the year, we tend to focus our energies on what we need to change, rooted out of the belief that something is wrong with us. Often our New Years intentions are propelled by our problems rather than our greatness and that’s why we can never keep up. We’re working towards a goal that magnifies the parts we feel negatively about rather than moving towards how incredible and powerful we are.
For the last few years, I spent my spiritual search, growth, and practice propelled by everything wrong with me, wanting so desperately to change because I hated who I was. While the practices did indeed assist in my evolution and I have indeed grown LEAPS and BOUNDS in the last three years, there was a major block. While I was better, I was still unhappy. While I was healthier, I was still experiencing autoimmune, chronic fatigue, PCOS, and acne - even though I was doing all of these practices. While I was a kinder person, I was experiencing a lot of inner anger.
Why? Because every time I sat down to do my meditation practice, it was fueled out of the desire to change me, to fix me, focusing on my problems and eliminating them rather than magnifying my strengths, beauty, grace, and radiance. When I was taught this, my entire practice changed. I was able to practice listening, through soft introspection, to what the Universe has to share with me. I was able to start receiving healing. I was able to start letting go only because I was being so filled up with the subtle energies around me. Call it love, call it magic, call it whatever you want. To me, it feels like strength, divine strength, replacing all of my insecurities.
For the last few months, I have dove into the practice of using mantra day in and day out, a way to connect me to a space of higher personal power. Lately, my absolute favorite way to use mantra is through the recitation of Japji, the Song of the Soul, as the sun is rising. Jap means to repeat. Ji means soul. Through repetition comes consistency, a constitent projection of strength, grace, power, and radiance. One of my favorite verses of Japji is the 9th Pauri of Japji, where every sentence begins with the word Suni-ia (pronounced Sooney-ah), which means listening.
Suni-ia laagai sahj Dhi-aan ~ Listening - intuitively grasp the essence of meditation.
I realized, we have to just listen to the Song of the Soul, the sound of our own Soul. Stop thinking, stop doing, stop comparing, stop judging, stop expecting, stop bitching, stop complaining, stop wanting things to be different…just Listen. The Universe has so much to share with us, to teach us, to give to us - but we cant receive it if we’re too stuck in thinking. Listening also does not just mean through the sense of the ears. Listen with the whole body, listen with the heart, listen with the Radiant Body, the Subtle Body, the Chakras, the Aura, the Magnetic Field, with your arms, your legs. Feel the radiance coming into your body, the power and grace of the Universe whispering to you what you need to move forward. Gabby Bernstein once said, stop asking for what you want and let the universe give you what you actually need. The Full Moon invites us to let go, so why don’t we end 2016 with letting go of self-doubt, self-judgement, self-deprication and step into the space of self-mastery?
Starting on January 1st, the Benshen tribe is doing a 40-day Japji Experience inspired by 3HO, led by the radiant Snatam Kaur. Yogi Bhajan, the master of Kundalini yoga, taught that the recitation of Japji can solve and dissolve every problem you face in your life. So why not? Join us for this incredibly empowering experience to get to know your own Essence. Feel free to email me with any questions ~ desireeSpais@gmail.com. Happy Full Moon and Merry Christmas!