Full Moon in Leo :: A Heart of Gold
I want to open this Lunar attribute with a quote from the Astrological insights from the glorious Mystic Mamma, which was so profoundly accurate that it hit the heart like the beat of a drum : “Oh LEO Full Moon, you crown us with the deepest truth we can acquire. You call to us to own our Queendom or Kingdom and take reign of our interior realms.”
A Full Moon in Leo is not a soft whisper of teaching and wisdoms. Think of the roar of a Lion, it shakes you to your core. I recently heard a story where Yogi Bhajan, the Master of Kundalini Yoga, was once at the airport with his students, secretary, and others. Suddenly, his secretary hears him SCREAMING at a flight attendant. He was ripping her a new one, if you know what I mean. His secretary had never seen him like this. She became so embarrassed and couldn't believe this was happening. The Master could feel his students unease and for whatever reason, he let her into his experience, allowing her to see what he was really doing while everyone else thought he was just screaming at this poor woman. What the secretary saw through merging with the Master’s sight is that he was screaming at this woman because the sound current of the yelling shook her to the bone, scattering her energy where she was stagnant, and under what everyone else thought just yelling, he was chanting “Wahe Guru” and placing this vibration into her physical and subtle bodies.
I love that story because it showed me that through the roar, through the challenges, through the things that shake us up, the Universe always has a divine plan for us, is always on our side, is always placing the sound current of Wahe Guru in us, which invokes the connection to our higher consciousness. On this Full Moon in Leo, we’re being asked to look at all the areas of our life that touch the space of the heart and be courageous about what we desire that will put us into alignment with our happiness and we have to make it our mission to connect with that, day in and day out. The moments in life that shake us the most are the ones that are asking us to look at our patterns and behaviors and see where we are shortcutting ourselves to happiness, even if it means the way out looks bumpy, I promise you the results are promising.
In my own personal experience, the time around this Moon has been so radically transformative that I feel like I’m literally being born. Jeez, right? I already had to do that once! I always look to my romantic relationships as a mirror to areas where I still have room for growth. My partner LOVES to travel. He spends every winter away from New York, traveling in nature and doing fun things like surfing, snowboarding, adventuring, seeing the world. This is the first time in a long time both of us have been in relationships and trying to find the balance between his love for travel and my love for, well, love, finally blew up in our faces this week. Lots of crying, lots of “should we break up?”, lots of confusion. We knew we loved each other but we couldn't figure out how to meet in the middle. I started getting really curious about my patterns and my need for love and my partner to be present with me. If we had broken up, I knew that I would keep meeting this experience again and again, me being stuck in codependent behaviors and attracting the most independent partners. I wanted to use this challenging moment as a catalyst for growth, which is exactly what the Moon in Leo inspires us to do.
I was sitting with my teacher the other day, talking about the whole situation, telling him how I am noticing my codependency patterns and how my partner is the perfect person to work on that with as he loves to leave for long periods of time. How could I not support him in that when traveling is what gives him the utmost joy and happiness? My teacher asked me, “If he came home one night and was in a shitty mood, what would you do to make you happy so you didn't take his problems personally?”
And it hit me. I blanked. I couldn't think of one thing to do. I would just attack him with questions and pester him and make my partners hypothetical bad day all about me. I realized that my codependency stems from a lack of self-acceptance, a lack of knowing and doing what actually makes me happy. But MOST IMPORTANTLY, I realized that all the things that I thought were making me happy were conditional :: If I eat this way and my hormones get balanced, then I’ll be happy. If I meditate enough, then I’ll be happy. If my skin clears up, then I’ll be happy.
The stagnation was breaking through, just like a Full Moon will offer us the opportunity to release anything that no longer serves us. Suddenly I could see that I had no source of joy, pure joy, other than the theoretical joy that will come once I’ve accomplished my long to do list of self-improvement.
And so with courage, I am now on a mission not for self-improvement but for self-acceptance. To leave the fear behind, the control behind, the doubt behind, the rigidness behind, letting go of everything that keeps me small and in the way of experiencing happiness in this beautiful thing called Human Life. On this Full Moon, I invite you too to take inventory of everything that’s keeping you stuck in “I’m not good enough” and find what actually gives you Joy and makes you feel like you’re everything.