We are mirrors. It’s truly that simple. Our relationship status reflects exactly what we think of ourselves inside, and what we are projecting outside. And if we aren’t crystal clear on what we are seeking, like a mirror, a fuzzy partner will appear.
Let’s go a little deeper. Attracting a partner is sort of my specialty. I’ve been a serial monogamous since day one. From thirteen on, I’ve had one long-term, committed relationship after another. And each partner has been extraordinary. Because unlike most, I believe that lovers walk into your life to expand you, teach you lessons, assist you in where you need to go, show you a whole new world you didn’t know was out there. And unless vibrationally this expansion keeps happening between the two souls, each will move onto their next experience.
At age twenty-three, a partner broke my whole being open - starting with my ego. We were never in vibrational alignment, and he was the biggest gift that the universe could have given me. The experience of that heartbreak shifted my life more than anything I’ve ever experienced. And up until that point, I was living a very fuzzy existence with a very fuzzy mirror.
Happiness for me was hinged on things such as fame, superficiality, and old programming. I made a very conscious decision to be single for two years (nothing serious or committed) to discover who the core of Lacy was through deep reflection and work. My meditation practice became routine, and I finally started to acknowledge my true self.
My true self is “out-there”. It isn’t sexy dresses and heals. It isn’t the programming of emotional manipulation and co-dependency gifted to me from childhood. It isn’t a totally out of alignment insecure girl.
In those two years, I discovered a very bold, compassionate woman that reflects sexiness through androgyny, spirituality, integrity and intelligence. I’m willing to sacrifice just about any stable situation (salaries, jobs, relationships) in the name of artistic freedom, deep emotional respect, self-respect, loyalty, being seen and accepted as my full being, and expanded consciousness.
At twenty-five after two years of the deep experience of getting to know myself, and shedding a surface superficial cacoon, I became a very crystal clear mirror. When I opened my heart up to monogamy and a serious commitment, I made my first list for a partner. I still have it today. The accuracy that showed up would shock you. “Artist, long blond hair, loyal beyond measure, cultured European family…”. I made this partner list during a time that I had just began dating someone I wasn’t in vibrational alignment with. I woke up one morning a few months into that experience and realized that I was dating someone that wasn’t serving me. And so I ended it. And even though I was really into this guy, unlike my old co-dependent self, I broke it off and chose my higher good. I gave a very crystal clear announcement to the universe that I would ONLY accept the persona I was seeking. Within two weeks, my list walked right into my life. And we were complete and total mirrors of each other.
And as women do, from twenty-five to thirty, my goals completely shifted. We grew out of vibrational alignment. And though he was the most incredible being and friend, I chose my higher good (and his) again and we parted respectfully.
I made my new list—with very different requests from my twenty five-year-old self—and within two months that exact person presented himself in my life. And we are total and complete mirrors of one another.
When clients are calling in partners, we have to dig and truly look at what is blocking them. Each vary from jadedness, lack of true self-love, fear of commitment, not believing that they deserve exactly who they are seeking, not fully understanding concrete self-respect (and allowing others to walk all over their values). Once we boil it down to the root, we use tools to dissolve these beliefs and begin new patterns and stories.
But I stand here today - in this commercially annoying month of love to some, or a celebration of love to others - to tell you that you do deserve the following:
To be loved and seen fully for your exact being.
To have your values respected and supported.
A sacred and truly expansive relationship.
Someone who can hold space for your exact needs.
A reflection of your highest self.
Someone that is will to align with your goals, do the work, and grow with you.
And all the other fun stuff you desire.
This poses a few questions: Do you truly want what you are asking for, or do you fear the actuality of it? Are you crystal clear? Do you truly feel worthy? Have you done the work? If so, this person should automatically appear in your life. Are they?
Because so many of our mirrors can be fuzzy due to hurt, abandonment and childhood, I’m offering my beautiful community the gift of $15 off a session until February 15th with the code PARTNER. I look forward to guiding you through the process of calling in your partner, looking at relationships you are already in, or deepening the one you have with yourself in order to attract exactly what you are seeking.
Photo by stunning Nitsa Citrine