Everything that shows up in our life is one of three things: lessons, gray area, or what we’ve been manifesting. It’s that simple.
What We’ve Been Manifesting | shows up when we are clear about what we want. Calling it in clearly. When we implement a few manifestation tools. And we’ve already passed our lessons by clearing our blocks (expanding our beliefs from limiting ones, raised our self-worth from the little we felt we deserved, and healed pain).
Gray Area | shows up in the areas where we are unconscious and aren’t actively and clearly commanding what we want. Or even conscious of what we want. Wherever you are wishy-washy, you will receive wishy-washyness things.
Lessons, however, are the true marker for raising our vibration.
So when it comes to active – one has become conscious and clear about calling in certain subjects in certain areas of their life - manifestation, there are really only two things that show up in our life: what we want or a lesson.
If what you want isn’t showing up, and a lesson is, then it’s time to do the work. Once you’ve done the work to clear your blocks, expand your beliefs, and heal, if a lesson shows up, you simply need to clearly and effectively pass it, which in turn sends a clear message to The Universe that you feel you deserve what you’ve asked for. And you really have raised your self-worth, once and for all.
I like to use relationships as examples because they offer clear examples that most of us can relate to. Though lessons apply to all areas of life and subjects we're manifesting.
Me | when I was young, I learned incredibly poor relationship programming from my mother and father. Emotions weren’t pinned, safe, expressed, and dealt with. Communications skills were zero. And commitment was something that was valued for about two-three years. My mother was beautiful, detached, and treated her partners really poorly. Once she reeled them in, she’d distance, self-sabotage then leave them and their hearts scattered in pieces. Her self-worth was high but zero at the same time. Getting a partner wasn’t hard at all because society told her she was pretty and worth it. But once intimacy kicked in (and her belief that she was little, ugly, and not worth it), she didn’t have any tools (communication, trust, unresolved co-dependency and addiction issues) to develop a co-committed and constantly deepening relationship. Both my mother and father share in using selfishness as a way to create intimacy distance. And both had learned these exact styles of love from their childhoods.
I, as most of us do, partook in these exact same relationship patterns because it’s what I knew. I was selfish, uncommunicative, and distant. Then The Universe sent my biggest lesson on the planet. Someone even more selfish, uncommunicative, superficial, and distant that I. I fell madly in love, turned controlling (which comes from distance and lack of trust), and grew smaller by the day. Then his distance reached the max, and he left my heart and world shattered in pieces. This was my turning point. At 23 I did THE WORK. It took two years of work before The Universe would even send me a lesson (because I needed that long to heal). I had a few, small encounters but they weren’t right and dissolved quickly (and a lot more consciously than I had dissolved anything in the past). Then I created My List. What showed up six weeks later was quite different from what I had asked My List for (looks, goals, career).
But I was falling in love. He was too. Out of nowhere we were six months deep. But I couldn’t shake the intuition that it wasn’t quite right, and I knew that I really wanted the partner on My List. I woke up one morning and thought, “this is a lesson. A lesson to test if my self-worth has grown since my insecure, superficial 23-year-old self. I have two choices. I can stay in this relationship and head further down a detour on my path. Or I can choose myself and the right future for me. It would be the ultimate proof that my self-worth has raised regarding men. Especially that I won’t accept anything less than what I want, for I finally believe that I deserve him. This would be the ultimate proof to The Universe that I have complete faith in it.’
I broke up with him the next day. And that was H A R D. Because I was IN LOVE. But it would have taken me down a life I didn’t want into a relationship that would have never been right. I swore off any guys in that moment. It was the VERY first time in my life that I left a relationship because it simply wouldn't be a relationship in my best interest. Before, due to low self-worth I always left for another guy, a new world, a new first year of outside validation due to love chemicals. It was the first time, with my actions, that I told The Universe, ‘I would not settle for anyone that wasn’t on my list. No matter how long it takes.’ Within one week my exact list walked into the bar I was cocktailing at. Down to “long surfer hair, artist, Parisian family, loyal, gentle, kind, generous…”
We hit a fork in the road three years later and I grew into a woman that wanted very serious things. Things I hadn’t put on my previous list, I now very much desired. So I created a new list. Six months later we parted. I was single for two months. I knew that I didn’t need to even look for anyone as my exact list with everything I’d asked for would present himself quickly, for I was ready and had done even more work. Two people appeared that were everything on my list. I mean everything. On the first date, one had wandering eyes and lacked chivalry. Two red flags (lessons) that would just intensify over a course of a relationship. The next day when asked on a second date, I responded with, “We’re not a romantic match but let’s absolutely connect as friends.” When asked why, I responded with, “Two absolute first date deal breakers for me are wandering eyes and letting a lady pull out her wallet.” (I was raised by two cowboys and a Middle Eastern man!!!). Lesson and test passed! (also the ladies that date him after me can thank me, for he probably won’t make those mistakes again!).
Then the second guy that was everything on my list presented himself to be self-absorbed right from the go. Goodbye! Lesson/ test passed. And a very clear message to The Universe that I’d ONLY accept exactly what I want because my self-worth is SO valuable and high to me. Something I’d never budge for.
Within two weeks, an old friend reconnected with me after a few years of distance. I attended her BBQ and I met my exact list with energetically exactly what I’d ever dream of. The Universe literally parted the way to ensure we met. To the extent of rekindling an old friend and I to ensure our connection. When the physical version of your list shows up, expect energetic lessons (if you haven't proven your self-wroth to yourself and The Universe).
Client | in her mid-30’s nothing was scarier than leaving the partnership she’d been in for two years (especially because she was feeling time/baby pressure). On paper he seemed like everything she had asked for. But energetically he didn’t hold a safe and sacred place to communicate. He also didn’t express any interest in self-evolution and working on himself. They had tried therapy and other alternative measures. In our first session, point blank, I gave her the option to run into the fire with this relationship, which would be met with a lot of struggle, suffocation, and the potential of bringing a child into that environment. Or she could take a huge leap of faith and trust that The Universe would and always will provide her with exactly what she asks, if she does the work.
Fearlessly and bravely (which astounds me every time), she took the leap of faith and left the relationship. She made her list. Did some heavy work. Instantly, her career began to take off. One block always transcends into every other part of your life. So it removed career blocks as well as health blocks (which all just root back to self-worth and limiting beliefs, which is a further root of fear). A test presented himself that seemed like her list. I advised her to not engage. And BAM, her list and ultimate partner showed up directly after, physically and energetically.
Lessons appear in any area of our life where we’ve manifested when we need to go the tiny extra mile to prove to The Universe (ourselves/subconscious mind) that we are worth exactly what we are asking for, and will settle for nothing less.
We've hit the midway point of 2016. Because I believe in yearly and half year markers of renewal - with a very powerful summer solstice of change upon us - I'm offering my community the gift of $15 off a private session until the equinox on June 20th. Simply type in the code SOLSTICE at checkout.
Photo | Juliette Favat
If one is looking to call in their equal partner, I'm holding an online workshop this Sunday, harnessing the potent transitional energy of Summer Solstice. Space is limited to 9 people.