Each of us walked uniquely different paths to sink into our unique relationship with perfectionism and controlling what others think of us. Truthfully, we’ve all experienced some form(s) of shame, trauma, and rejection, which have resulted in us shaming and rejecting aspects of ourself.
When we dig deep down, we can usually pinpoint the root of one (or many) of these instances in our childhood or adolescence. They are the demons we hide in our closet. We hop around them, spiritually bypass them with positivity, and create surface level personas that help us control how we appear to the outer world. But here’s the sweetest part of it all, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US have them.
So why not gracefully and boldly take a look at them? Really sit with them, meet them, explore them, try them on, wear them out, and anything else that needs to be done in order to not let them have any control over you?
Here is one of the very beautiful, softening, and expanding visual meditations I have select clients do to simply discover what might be in their closet blocking them in way of manifestation. It's a tiny exploration and little tool to soften and expand our hearts around these messy bits.
ROSE & FIRE
PROCESS | It’s best to practice this one when you are alone so that you can go deeper. Close your eyes and focus on your breath. Quiet your thoughts. Once you’ve sunk into to the moment, visually picture your heart in the shape of a closed pink rose. With each breath, feel the soft pinkness and warmth of this rose. Then watch it gently and gracefully open. (This is a great way to also open and expand your heart).
Now that it’s open, I want you to dig around and let a memory come back to you from childhood. A time when you were shamed, or not good enough, or abandoned. See that smaller version of you. I want you to pick up and console that smaller version of you and give the love that, that smaller version of you is in need of (this might vary for each individually). Once you do, I want you two to take a look at the situation. Is there something that smaller version of you needs to say to someone? What would have needed to happen to change the situation in order for the smaller version of you to feel confident, seen, loved, and comforted? Now take anything or anyone involved in that situation and throw them/it into a fire (in order to regenerate a new outcome).
Say any last things you need to say or do with this smaller version of you. Then gently come to your breath again. Wiggle you toes and hands. And come out of the meditation when you are ready.